This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward sequels to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare no-star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was like consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.

Ashley Smith
Ashley Smith

Tech strategist and software architect with 15+ years of experience in building enterprise solutions.